Achilles Heel  |  Pedro the Lion      

release date:  2004         record label:  Jade Tree

track listing:  1) Bands With Managers                
                       2) Forgone Conclusions                    
                       3) The Fleecing                  
                       4) Discretion                  
                       5) Arizona                  
                       6) Keep Swinging
                                                                              7) Transcontinental 
                                                                              8) I Do 
                                                                              9) A Simple Plan
                                                                            10) Start Without Me 
                                                                            11) The Poison 

                                                       "who should I blame for this sweet and heavy trouble,                
                                                              for every stupid struggle, I don’t know… ”

In Greek mythology, Achilles stands tall as a great warrior and the turning point in the Trojan War.  Homer’s Iliad tells the story – with the Greeks facing certain defeat at the Battle of Troy, Achilles’ learns of the death of his cousin at the hand of the Trojan champion, Hector.  His rage spills over and he rushes to the battlefield, looking for Hector and killing scores of Trojans in the process.  Finally, a one-on-one battle allows Achilles to seek revenge against Hector, whose death all but ensures victory for the Greeks.  According to the legend, Achilles was a demigod, the offspring of a god and a human.  Hoping to ensure immortality for her son, the mother of Achilles took her newborn child by the heels of his feet and dipped him into the river Styx.  This left him impervious to injuries; the one part of his body which was not submerged, his heels, were his only point of vulnerability.  Thousands of years after these stories were first told by the Greeks, the term “Achilles heel” remains a synonym for an individual’s flaws or points of weakness.  

Dave Bazan was Pedro the Lion.  As principal lyricist and musician, this talented multi-instrumentalist built his band into the premier indie-darling of Christian music around the turn of the millennium.  Musically, Pedro the Lion is known for fuzzy, distorted guitar licks that seem to never be in a hurry.  The causal listener, however, is forced to a crossroads when it comes to Bazan’s lyrics – it is at this point where one becomes either a dedicated fan or is completely turned off.  To put it mildly, his words turn heads.  Although pegged as a Christian artist, Bazan has never been opposed to using an occasional four-letter word to express himself.  Pedro the Lion’s third album, Control, was a concept album against capitalism.  The lyrics stirred the waters of controversy quite a bit, especially the song Indian Summer, which, in reference to children said “you aught to start them young, that way they’ll naturally love the taste of corporate cum.”  No matter how dark the subject matter covered by Bazan’s songs – unrequited love, hypocrisy and fighting doubt – there always seemed to be a silver-lining, a reference to hope in Christ or encouragement not to give up in the face of adversity.  As fan of Pedro the Lion for a number of years, it was hard not to notice with each subsequent album, that the silver-lining was growing thinner and thinner.  Unlike the ancient Greek hero for whom the album is named, Bazan makes no attempt to hide his vulnerabilities on this farewell album.  In fact, Achilles Heel sounds like a man drowning in a dark sea of questions, doubts, misgivings, and fears.  The silver-lining is gone.  The honeymoon is most assuredly over. 

The eleven songs comprising Achilles Heel are like individual Hemmingway novels – direct, each word carrying weight, leading us to a tragic end.  Hopelessness is rampant, as is death and regret.  As is the case with Hemmingway, Bazan’s songsare compelling – but don’t expect to leave them with anything other than a heavy heart.  Achilles Heel is not an album for a sunny afternoon. 

The albumopens with Bands With Managers, a slow-moving lament to the fate of most musicians – struggling to make a living and unable to please their loved ones:  “bands with managers are going places … bands with messy hair and smooth white faces … but you don’t believe me when I say that it will be all right.”  The album picks up considerable steam with Foregone Conclusions, a fan favorite regarding judgment and doomed relationships:  “you and I are nothing more than foregone conclusions.”  The Fleecing slows the pace down yet again and asks Job-like questions regarding why humans suffer and if there is anyone to blame.  Discretion tells the story of the murder of a farming family who lay undiscovered for a number of days, allowing the killer to escape unscathed.  (Although there are differences, I can’t listen to this song without thinking about Truman Capote’s haunting novel In Cold Blood, which tells a similar story.)   One of my favorite songs on the album, Arizona gives the states of western America the human abilities to love, hate and cheat on each other:  “Arizona curled up to California, and tried to hide the whole thing from New Mexico.”  Keep Swinging tells the story of a character who deals with the trouble of life by abusing alcohol, riding in taxis while passed out and vomiting in hotel rooms;  Bazan encourages the character to “just keep swinging till your over it.”  There may be a bit of autobiography contained here, as Bazan himself has openly struggled with alcohol abuse. 

Things don’t get much brighter as the listener makes his or her way past the halfway point of the album.  Transcontinental, over an up-tempo beat, tells the story of a man who has his legs cut off by a train.  Lying in pain, our character remembers a story he once heard about a man who, pinned beneath a fallen tree, freed himself by cutting through his own legs.  Despite the inspiration, the character can’t find that type of bravery within himself and, instead, is “left to bleed to death.”  I Do removes any bliss from the idea of marriage, telling the story of a couple who will now “bury dreams and raise a son to live vicariously through.”  Bazan leaves no hope for the child as well, singing that if the baby knew the world he was being born in to, he would “climb right back in.”  A Simple Plan finds a man who has worked his whole life to achieve equality among the classes and rights for workers.  This man realizes the goal of his life – “the class war is over and everyone wins” – but in so doing, loses his “reason to breathe.”  Bazan, as the character, continues “now that it’s over, and now that we won, I still sit in my bedroom, alone with a shotgun.”  Instead of finding joy in his victory, the character settles on the simplest plan to deal with the pain of loss:  suicide.  Start Without Me follows a racecar driver who finds his family slipping away from him due to his addictions and a job that takes him far from home.  The album ends with The Poison, yet another song about alcohol abuse, this time used to cope with the loss of a romantic relationship: “now its over and I can’t stay sober, but it isn’t like I try.”  Bazan promises to continue drinking until “you come over, or there are x’s on my eyes.”      

Bazan’s music, and especially this last album from Pedro the Lion, is depressing.  If I’m honest with myself, I am drawn to his music because I can be a little depressive myself.  More frequently that I’d like to admit, I find myself focusing on the negative, being hopeless or giving up too easily.  My girlfriend has a name for me when I get into these funks:  Eeyore.  It’s a pretty spot-on comparison.  I find, though, that I am not alone in this.    

Watch TV for any length of time at all and you’re bound to come across a commercial for antidepressants.  It seems, at least in America, that happiness is only a pill or two away.  Before I go any further, let me say that I understand that there are some types of depression that need medication.  For people truly suffering through that darkness, medication can certainly be a part of their healing.  That being said, though, I fear that too many of us are numbing ourselves instead of truly confronting our inadequacies, questions and doubts.  If we ever hope to find true healing, we must realize that the answer is not always going to be found in hiding behind a pill.  

Thinking about my own depression-prone personality, I find that how I feel is often a function of my point of view.  When my focus is myself, depression creeps in because I feel ordinary.  Like everyone else, I’m struggling with finances, dealing with unfulfilling relationships, having arguments with loved ones and feeling unable to achieve my deepest dreams and desires.  I was taught as a child that God made me special.  Why, then, do I feel like just another face in the crowd?  As my focus shifts to others, the feelings grow worse.  When I think of friends who are working exciting jobs, getting married, having children and chasing their dreams, I feel like a failure.  These emotions are understandable and, in fact, quite common.  Nobody wants to grown up to be ordinary. 

It is only when I forget myself that I begin to remember Jesus’ upside down kingdom – one where the poor are blessed, the first are last and the sin-sick are valued.  In this kingdom, I find hope that what makes me ordinary, instead of being a reason for depression, is actually cause for celebration.  The Creator of the universe loves me precisely because I am helpless and forgotten, chasing dead ends and feeling like a failure.  This truth is portrayed throughout the arc of history, as God sets his affections on stuttering prophets, faithless followers, common fisherman and useless lepers.  In His kingdom, prostitutes, tax collectors and former terrorists all find themselves being called a new name:  children of God. 

Small children are helpless to care for themselves.  They rely on their parents for nourishment, provisions, guidance and love.  If we consider ourselves children of God, then we must accept our role as newborns – people who, when left to our own devices, are utterly helpless.  But Christ, as he promised in the book of John, did not leave us as orphans.  We are being raised, feed, guided and loved by the most perfect parent, our Heavenly Father.  When we realize and accept that we will never be able to help ourselves, our attention can turn fully to the only One who can.  Christ himself declared that it was not the healthy who needed a doctor, but the sick.  As I age, I recognize more and more sickness within myself.  This can be viewed as personal shortcomings, leading to unhappiness and depression, or I can recognize that, because I am sick, the doctor will see me.     

Doubtless, not everyone will view their weaknesses, vulnerabilities and flaws as a road to redemption.  In fact, only a few years after the release of Achilles Heel, Dave Bazan would leave behind Christianity, publicly declaring himself an Agnostic.  Since the end of Pedro the Lion, Bazan has continued to record as a solo artist.  As has always been the case, his lyrics continue to shine a bright light on his doubts; many of his new songs focus on the loss of faith.  Since I am not a personal friend of Dave Bazan, I cannot speak to what issues drove him to Agnosticism, nor can I begin to judge his decision or the thought processes that lead him to it.  I do, however, feel a great deal of sadness for him. Part of that sadness, if I’m being completely honest, is selfish.  I miss the biting lyrics and biblical honesty of his early albums, much of which was already gone by the time he made Achilles Heel.  The brunt of my sadness, however, is focused on how hopeless he must feel.  Viewed through the lens of an agnostic or atheist, human suffering has no purpose.  There is no reason for depression, no higher purpose for having flaws or feeling like a failure.  In Christianity, however, our flaws have a function – to convince, and remind us, that we are children in need of a Father.  With Christ, our worst qualities may in fact be our best, for they express a need for a Savior who is greater than us. 

When we can accept who we are – our seemingly ordinary lives, common problems and human flaws – we stop fighting our salvation.  The most dangerous person to a lifeguard is a drowning man or woman who is panicking; their kicking and flailing makes their rescue all the more difficult.  When we stop trying to earn the love of God by being strong enough, pretty enough or successful enough, we become like a drowning man who stops panicking.  At that moment, we can be rescued.  Bad things happen to good people, even followers of Christ, to remind them that they are still a child that needs a Father.  If our lives were perfect, we would have no need for a God who is.  Thank God, then, for our Achilles heels. 

                      Abbey Road  |  The Beatles  

         release date:  1969             record label:  Apple

track listing:  1) Come Together                 
                       2) Something                   
                       3) Maxwell’s Silver Hammer                   
                       4) Oh! Darling                   
                       5) Octopus’s Garden                   
                       6) I Want You (She’s So Heavy) 
                                                                              7) Here Comes the Sun
                                                                              8) Because 
                                                                              9) You Never Give Me Your Money
                                                                             10) Sun King
                                                                             11) Mean Mr. Mustard 
                                                                             12) Polythene Pam 
                                                                             13) She Came In Through the Bathroom Window
                                                                             14) Golden Slumbers 
                                                                             15) Carry That Weight
                                                                             16) The End 

                                                                      "come together, right now, over me..." 

Twenty-seven number one singles.  Seven Grammy awards.  The best-selling musical group of all time.  The only band named to Time magazine’s list of the 100 most influential people of the 20th century.  The most prolific songwriting duo of all time.  Every superlative you can think of to describe the Beatles is appropriate.  To declare them the most influential musicians in history isn’t farfetched.  In only nine years, four lads from England changed the face of music forever. 

By 1969, the Beatles train was running out of steam.  The magical partnership that had produced such albums as Revolver and Sgt. Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band was falling apart at the seams.  Arguments, fights, and band members walking out of recording sessions became the norm, reaching a fever pitch while the band attempted to record the album Let It Be.  Dissatisfied with the end product, the band walked away from Let It Be; shortly thereafter they entered the studio to record Abbey Road.  Although it was recorded before Abbey Road, Let It Be wouldn’t be released until after the breakup of the band. Abbey Road stands as the last album recorded by all four original members of the Beatles.  In interviews later in life, the band members would agree that, although they never formally discussed the fact that Abbey Road would be their final join effort, each of them felt the end of the Beatles approaching while recording what would become their last album. 

An old wives tale that says that, just prior to its death, a swan will use its remaining strength to sing the sweetest song of its life.  As the last notes of that song fade, the swan begins to die.  Abbey Road is the Beatles’ swan song – sad in that it represents the end of an era, yet to many fans, myself included, it is the sweetest song they sang.  Rollingstone Magazine agreed, naming it the fourteenth greatest album of all time in 2003.  Shortly after its release, the four members of the Beatles would never again appear together in public.  The band would die, but the music lives on, thanks in part to the sweetness of their last song. 

As usual, John Lennon and Paul McCartney contributed the vast majority of the songs on Abbey Road.  Side one of the record starts with one of Lennon’s most recognizable songs,Come Together.  People have been trying to wrap their minds around the lyrics since its release.  Some have speculated that each verse represents a different member of the Beatles, while others found evidence for the supposed death of Paul McCartney in the lyrics “one and one and one is three.”  Something is the first of two George Harrison songs on Abbey Road; according to band members it was Lennon’s favorite song on the album.   Side two starts with Harrison’s other contribution Here Comes the Sun; although it was never released as a single, the song still continues to garner much radio play. Ringo Starr gets his own songwriting credit on this album, penning Octopus’s Garden.  Joining the ranks of the Beatle’s strangest songs, at least in my opinion, is the Lennon/McCartney creation Maxwell’s Silver Hammer which details the exploits of a fictional serial killer.  Something clicks in the mind of Maxwell Edison, a student of medicine, and he goes on a rampage that leaves his girlfriend, his teacher and a federal judge dead as his “silver hammer came down upon [their] heads.”  To offset the dark material, and perhaps making the song even creepier, is the fact that the music is light and airy, something somewhat like children’s music. 

There is not a lull on Abbey Road; each song is something special.  I Want You (She’s So Heavy) creates an almost eight-minute opus out of a song whose lyrics contain only thirteen different words.  The melody for Because is written around Beethoven’s “Moonlight Sonata” played backwards, and includes three-part harmonies sung by Lennon, McCartney and Harrison.  By far, though, my favorite part of Abbey Road is the medley of eight songs that concludes the album.  This sixteen-minute marathon starts with You Never Give Me Your Money and runs through Sun King, Mean Mr. Mustard, Polythene Pam, She Came In Through The Bathroom Window, Golden Slumbers, Carry That Weight and The End without so much as stopping to take a breath.  Most of the entries included in the medley were unfinished snippets of songs by Lennon and McCartney – as if the band was tying up all its loose ends before calling it quits.  

When it comes down to it, Abbey Road is art.  Purists may want my head for saying so, but I believe this album belongs among the great works of humanity:  the symphonies of Beethoven, the paintings of Van Gogh, and the sculpture of Michelangelo.  Great art influences every artist coming after it.  The Beatles have most certainly done that, forever changing the course of rock-and-roll music.  I daresay that every musician emerging after the Beatles has been influenced, either directly or indirectly, by the music that John, Paul, George and Ringo created.  If imitation signals a great work of art, then Abbey Road stands strong.  The cover photo, showing the band crossing Abbey Road in front of EMI Studios, is one of the most recognized, and imitated, photographs of all time.  The music itself has been covered by a plethora of musical acts including Joe Cocker, Phil Collins, Aerosmith and Soundgarden. Booker T. and the MG’s went one step further, producing their own version of the entire album.  As is the case with all great works of art, Abbey Road has found its way, permanently, into culture.  The Beatles have made the transition from LP records, to cassette tapes, to CDs and a few months ago, their catalogue was released on iTunes, ensuring that their musical contributions to our world will continue into the next generation. 

Abbey Road does more than just entertain – it also teaches an important lesson:  that we are better together.  Over the past few years, I have been realizing how important the concept of community is.  Unhappy with loneliness from the beginning of the world, God creates Eve for Adam.  He establishes the nation of Israel.  He sends his Son to earth as the cure for spiritual seclusion.  He establishes the greatest example of human community we have in the early Church of Acts.  Other people, of course, make life harder – no matter how we try, fights and disagreements are going to coming up.  But instead of ignoring them or disavowing others, we are taught to confront our problems, work through them, and continue on through life together.  This is the story of friendship, of marriage, of the Church. 

Every Beatle would continue to make music after the dissolution of the band.  John, arguably, had the most successful solo career of the original Beatles, producing great songs like Instant Karma and Give Peace a Chance before his life was tragically cut short on.  Not to be outdone, though, Paul found success writing new music with Wings, and, admittedly, George’s solo record All Things Must Pass is a classic.  But, as solo artists, John, Paul, George and Ringo would never reach the heights they had ascended to as a team.  As is the case with many bands, tensions arose between competing egos and eventually lead to the end of the Beatles.  In life, as I experience disappoints and disagreements with others, I can choose to react as a child, taking my ball and heading home, or I can engage in the hard work of expressing emotions and working to restore relationships.  Oftentimes this is a hard choice.  But the Beatles provide a good example to remember – we were created to be together and our lives look, sound, and feel better when we remain so.

I love good endings.  It doesn’t necessarily have to resolve or answer every question I have – in fact, it may create more – but a good ending is essential, and perhaps even required, for a good story.  The End marks not only the conclusion of the eight song medley that closes out Abbey Road, but it serves to close the door on the Beatles’ storied nine-year career.  The song starts with a drum solo, the only one Ringo had in the entire Beatles’ catalogue.  As the two-minute song concludes, John, Paul and George each take turns churning out a guitar riff – Paul’s included bending notes, George used a slide and John played with heavy distortion.  Immediately thereafter, a piano comes in and the most important band in the history of rock music ends their career with the line “in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make.” 

Interacting with other people, including them in my life and sharing in theirs, is sure to get messy at times – there will be, and have been, times when I’ve wanted to leave behind relationships, even the Church.  But then the Beatles come through, telling me that I only get out of relationships what I put into them and I begin to see that, if I am the one giving up on others, then I am one with the problem.  And then another realization:  that this clever line from the Beatles is nothing more than a rewording of Christ’s command that His followers love others as they love themselves.  I find plenty of grace and patience for myself – where do those virtues go when it comes to dealing with others?  If I am really seeking Christ, then I must learn how to treat his children with the love and respect that I desire from them.  Christ doesn’t wait to see how others treat us – He takes the initiative, commanding us to love before we are loved.   

There is a line of thinking that suggests that there is no such thing as “Christian art.”  Proponents begin with the fact that all human beings have been made in the image of a God who creates.  Artists, then, are merely following in the footsteps of their Creator – their works of art becoming a testament to this fact.  In that case, there is no distinction between “secular” and “sacred” art – it all becomes sacred.  Of course, like all good things humans come into contact with, art can be corrupted and made in a way that is contrary to Christ’s kingdom.  But the fact that a person can create something out of his or her imagination remains a reflection of the Original Creator.  It is interesting to think that there are artists who, through their art, attempt to proclaim that there is no God; in producing art, though, they actually proclaim His existence.  Psalm 8:2 asserts that, oftentimes, God’s message can be delivered by unexpected sources – “Out of the mouths of babes thou hast ordained praise” it reads.  I have so often encountered the presence of God, been reminded of the teachings of Christ, or felt convicted of my own sin when experiencing art that was not “Christian” in nature.  The God we serve is not confined to only one genre of music, one school of painting, or one style of sculpture.  The ancient Psalmist heard praise for God out of the ramblings of a baby trying to form words.  It should come as no surprise, then, that I was reminded of the teachings of Christ by the music of the world’s greatest rock band.